Brittany's Wisdom: Gleanings from Glee

#20 "People thought I went on vacation ...

 
... but actually, I spent the summer lost in the sewers." DID YOU KNOW? One of Brittany's hobbies is motocross?
 

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20: "People thought I went on vacation ...
... but actually, I spent the summer lost in the sewers." DID YOU KNOW? One of Brittany's hobbies is motocross?
19: ''Kissing my armpits ...
... is a really big turn-on for me.'' DID YOU KNOW? Brittany claims to have conquered every guy in her school?
18: "I've been here since first period ...
... I had a cold, and I took all my antibiotics at the same time, and now I don't know how to leave." DID YOU KNOW? Brittany's middle name is Susan.
17: ''I'm pretty sure my cat's ...
... been reading my diary.'' DID YOU KNOW? She's Dutch.
16: ''When I pulled my hamstring...
... I went to a misogynist.'' DID YOU KNOW? Brittany has a little sister.
15: ''Did you know ...
... that dolphins are just gay sharks?... Yeah.'' DID YOU KNOW? Brittany takes Finn's virginity.
14: Santana: ''Having sex is not dating.'
Brittany: ''If it were, Santana and I would be dating.'' DID YOU KNOW? Brittany maintains her figure by drinking protein shakes made from sand.
13: ''She's the one they made me talk to ...
... when they found out I was keeping that bird in my locker.'' DID YOU KNOW? Brittany has 68 cavities.
12: Santana - " I want to talk about that thing that we never talk about."
Brittany - "That Sour Patch Kids are just Gummy Bears that turned to drugs?" DID YOU KNOW? Brittany prays several times every day.
11: Mr. Schue: ''Who can tell me what a ballad is?''
Brittany: ''A male duck.'' DID YOU KNOW? Brittany only knows the first half of the alphabet. She gave up because M sounds too much like N.
10: Mr. Schue: ''Who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?''
Brittany: ''He discovered America.'' DID YOU KNOW? Brittany hosts and internet talk show called Fondue for Two.
9: ''Can you please not pull all my teeth? ...
... When I smile, I’ll look like an adult baby, but with boobs.'' DID YOU KNOW? Brittany votes for Santana for Prom Queen.
8: ''This room looks like that one spaceship ...
... where I was probed.'' DID YOU KNOW? Brittany is trying to invent a time machine.
7: "I don't brush my teeth. I rinse my mouth out with soda after I eat ...
... I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist." DID YOU KNOW? Rory Flanagan is Brittany's first friend.
6: "It works best when you pretend like you're getting tasered. ...
... It's like cool epilepsy." DID YOU KNOW? Brittany asks a leprechaun to make her cat poop out candy bars.
5: "Last year I left my stocking up over Christmas vacation and an entire family of mice starting living in it. ...
... Their Christmas gift to each other was rabies." DID YOU KNOW? s elected senior class president after promising to go topless.
4: Brittany: You're such a great dancer!
Finn Hudson: Um, thanks, but my feet weren't really moving. Brittany: That was the best part. DID YOU KNOW? Quinn has a picture of Brittany in his locker.
3: Mercedes Jones: How do you know for sure? You can't prove that there is no God.
Kurt Hummel: You can't prove there isn't a magic teapot floating around the dark side of the moon with a dwarf inside of it that reads romance novels and shoots lightning out of its boobs; but it seems pretty unlikely doesn't it? DID YOU KNOW? Brittany makes a tape of her and Santana making out. Brittany Pierce: Is God an evil dwarf?
2: Brittany Pierce: Tornadoes are nature's most destructive force..
These violent storms have ravaged America, crippling communities all across our land. Isn't it time we take a stand? If you honor me with being your next class president, I will make tornadoes illegal at McKinley, keeping you and your families at our school safe from their murderous rampages. Also, on Tuesdays, uh, I pledge to go topless. DID YOU KNOW? Brittany helps Santana get a scholarship to college.
1: Will Schuester: What's your favorite songs of all time?
Brittany Pierce: "My Headband". DID YOU KNOW? Brittany, single handedly, selects dinosaurs as the prom theme.