Best of FriendZone Johnny
#15 Patient
Patience used to be a virtue. But in the Friendzone, it's downright pathetic.
Related Content
►
View All From This Gallery
14:
Match Patch
Johnny came equipped with his "How to Soothe a Chick's Broken Heart" kit. But Bon Bons, Kleenex and an all-night "Friends" DVD marathon weren't enough to seal the deal.
13:
Mirror Mirror
While practicing his seduction technique in the mirror, Johnny was shocked when the mirror spoke back. In this case, practice makes the FAIL more perfect.
12:
A Coatrack Sap
And as requested, he holds it with both hands since it's vintage Versace. Meanwhile, while she holds her drink in one hand and her boyfriend in the other.
11:
Let's Be Friendly
He's not a friend, he's "friend-ish"—just a shade better than "doorstop". The Friendzone is a dark and shady place.
10:
Third Wheel
She isn't buying that coded "coffee" lingo, either. If she decides to go, she'll constantly pretend that she's looking for someone.
9:
Ulterior Motive
He will never have a hidden agenda because she won't let him have one. She demands that he produce at least two DVD's before he's allowed inside the house.
8:
Her Cab Driver
As her personal cabbie, he works long hours and there's no payback whatsoever... It's a thankless job, but he's more than willing to do it.
7:
Free Rein
When her Dad doesn't consider you a threat, you are truly in the Friendzone. And if he ever asks you to chaperone one of her dates, it's a wrap.
6:
Pic-Worthy
He can always say that she photoshopped in the roses and candy...and the flushed face...and the awkward grin... Nevermind. The truth never looked so humiliating.
5:
Ripped Meets Shrimp
Her boyfriend will probably be hungry by that time, so he'll be eating Johnny's chocolates and guarding the doorway while Johnny stutters out an excuse as to why he's there. The Alpha male has all the fun.
4:
Bro Me
Johnny had to IM her to ask that she change the relationship type from "Sister" to "Brother". He now officially has more "family members" than friends on Facebook.
3:
Besties Forever
It would never dawn on her that Johnny even knows how to say "Lovers". If he ever says it, she'd actually hear "Love r's".
2:
Hold the Starch...
What you don't see is the boyfriend's freshly folded laundry in a basket by Johnny's feet. As instructed, all underwear got hand-washed.
1:
A True Blue Meme
Johnny's that one guy who usually ends up unintentionally catching the bride's bouquet with his face at wedding receptions. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.
